in which i attempt to say goodbye

14Jul11

It’s been years since I turned 18, yet I still feel like my childhood truly ends tonight.

For the very last time, I will put on my Gryffindor sweater, despite Karen’s protests of the hot July heat, and I will watch as the credits open and close on the very last Harry Potter movie.

I will always remember discovering Wizard People, Dear Reader, and falling asleep watching it on my living room floor with Moony and Prongs. I will remember the excitement I felt when I opened up my Christmas presents one year from my father, and discovered my Gryffindor sweater, along with a Slytherin Quidditch sweater and both Slytherin and Gryffindor scarves, topped off with the largest package of Harry Potter treats that Alivan’s had to offer. I will remember the bonding experience I had with my father when he took me to the release of one of the books and stood patiently beside me, despite never having read any books nor seen any movies. I will remember running around Ashley’s yard with broomsticks, pretending to play Quidditch. I will remember the subsequent squabble we had as I refused to stop reading the book while I worked at his ice cream shop. I will remember by first “boyfriend” taking me to see Goblet of Fire – not because he was a fan of the series, but because he knew how much it meant to me – and him laughing (not unkindly) as I sat with tears in my eyes during Cedric’s death. I will remember stuffing ourselves into the box seats at the movie theatre Kenny worked at for the midnight release of Half-Blood Prince. I will remember getting a text message from a friend telling me to check my porch, that they thought they saw an owl by my house, and walking outside to discover a box with an acceptance letter to Hogwarts University (I was, afterall, too old for the real Hogwarts), along with my own wand – handcarved and placed in a homemade velvet box. I will remember falling asleep on top of Deathly Hallows and waking up to discover drool all over the pages because I wouldn’t stop reading, even when I was exhausted. I will remember discovering the cupboard under my friends stairs … and refusing to drunkenly sleep anywhere for an entire summer, eloquently telling them I was “Harry Potter, bitches!” I will remember going to see Deathly Hallows Part 1 and skipping across the parking lot. And, years from now, I will remember sitting down at my computer to write this, my attempt at closure.

Most of all, I will remember all of the friends I made, solely from our mutual love of the series. Because I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who waited patiently for hours for the midnight releases. I’m not the only one who dresses up, dedicated as ever, for these events. I’m not the only one who feels like they grew up with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, experiencing the same emotions and battles they did – though without the magic. And I’m not the only who sat in their room, wondering why this magical world couldn’t be real. Not only is it comforting that I’m not completely mental, but I can’t count the numbers of times that Harry Potter brought about endless conversations and started friendships for me.

To be honest, I feel bad for those who didn’t get into the series until later, or haven’t started it yet. Because they won’t know what it’s like to grow up with it. They won’t get to experience the excitement and anxiousness of waiting for the next book or movie, and the satisfying feeling when you turn the last page or walk out of the theatre. And that’s sad to me. I hope with all my heart that if I ever have children, they can have their own Harry Potter. This has been over ten years of my life, and as pathetic as it may sound, I’m not really sure what I’m going to do knowing that it’s all over.

I guess all I’m really trying to say is this: Goodbye, Mr. Potter. It has been both a pleasure and an honor. And now, as I sit here, I know that JK Rowling was right -

Hogwarts will always be there to welcome me home.

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oh hey… didn’t see you there.

12Jul11

So, it’s only been nine months since my last entry.

Where do I even begin?

For the most part, my life now consists of managing the Bruster’s that I have worked at for three years, which is something akin to hosting the Special Olympics on a daily basis. I like to complain about how annoying and stupid it is, but if I am going to be completely honest, I just sit at the work computer and do the same shit I do at home, except now I have to get up at ten in the morning to do it. And I don’t get to sit around in my underwear and drink beer.

Other than that… yeah, I got nothing. Sitting around eating more food than my body can possibly contain, watching TV on DVD, drinking enough Long Islands to take down a baby elephant – that’s pretty much what occupies the rest of my time.

Really this is just a placeholder post because it felt awkward just diving into blogging again without saying a hello.

Filed under: another post written at 4 AM? there's a reason this blog is called "to the sleepless", you'd think i'd be more productive considering how little i sleep   |  Leave a Comment

yes, this is my first post in months

27Oct10

i am really drunk and playing text twist

while wiping tears away

my life doesn’t know whether to be awesome or pathetic right now

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these are the things i do for money

18Mar10

So, I signed up to become a guide on Cha Cha, that website where you can ask questions and people answer them. Or you text 242242 and it’s like KGB except, you know, free and less dumb because who wants to pay money for something they could find by Googling?

I passed the first assessment with a 95%. Yes. First assessment. As in there are more than one. Apparently being able to use Wikipedia is Serious Business. Honestly, I didn’t know that this was such a huge job. There are courses you have to take, ending with a “readiness test” that is reviewed by, you know, real people. At the beginning of the first video, they suggest you get a pen and paper and take notes.

I don’t even take notes during class. What the hell is going on here.

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i need to stop saying i will never do something

03Mar10

… like wearing leggings as pants.

To be fair, I don’t think the words, “I will never wear leggings as pants,” ever left my mouth. However, I was once a (very) proud member of the Facebook group “Leggings: Not a substitute for pants” and though I don’t feel like going through the 800+ things I’m a fan of, I’m sure a few of them are pages with that theme.

However, as my friend Rocket so nicely pointed out, I have worn leggings in lieu of pants not once, but twice this week. Sure, they were with really long sweaters (or, in today’s case, a sweatshirt my mom got me, thinking I’m the size of a linebacker) that covered everything, but… is that any different?

Another case in point: Kesha. Yeah, I wrote a whole entry on how shitty her music is, but I admit… I like a few songs. When I first heard TiK ToK, I described it something like “what a real song would sound like if somebody was drunkenly slurring along to it,” but now… my personal going-out motto is, “The party don’t start ’til I walk in.”

Moral of the story: I am never promising not to do something ever again.

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Tags: leggings, rocket

this is my current homepage

03Mar10

Does it really stop me?

Naw. But at least it appears I’m sort of making an effort.

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Tags: the intarwebz

9 books, countless hours, and 8 (barely) pages later…

02Mar10

… and I’m pretty sure I officially hate both ancient Greece and Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

At the time, choosing to write about how PJO is a modern day equivalent of ancient Greek drama seemed like a stellar idea. I like the topics, it’s prove-able, it’s original, what’s not to love?

Now, just about everything. I even want to punch Logan Lerman in the face.

I had such high expectations for this paper. I really did. Despite Michael telling us that most of us aren’t ready to tackle the larger paper yet, I was going to prove him wrong. I was going to present him with 15 pages of pure, unadulterated wisdom, and he was going to bow down to my scholarly ways.

Now, the motivation and excitement is completely drained. I’m going to be proud if I manage to squeeze in another page or two from this mess of notes and bookmarks.

I’ve also quickly come to discover that I have little to no recollection of MLA citation.

Thank God for rewrites.

Filed under: another post written at 4 AM? there's a reason this blog is called "to the sleepless", excuse me while i nerd out, it's college, you're supposed to do work at college?   |  4 Comments
Tags: history of theatre, school

i would’ve never guessed

22Feb10

Original:

Cover:

Mind. Blown.

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Tags: music

ugh

18Feb10

I would like somebody to give me one good, valid reason why Kesha exists.

Is this real life?

Congratulations, everybody. This is what you consider music nowadays.

I mean. This is hard for me to admit, but TiK ToK kind of grew on me. A lot. To the point where I started informing everybody that “The party don’t start ‘til I walk in” is my new personal motto. And I listen to a few of her other songs (Like Kiss N Tell and, ugh, Blah Blah Blah), but, just…

Really?

And with other classic gems like “Fuck Him (He’s a DJ)” and “Friday Night Bitch Fight,” it’s already clear that if you look up “classy” in the dictionary, Kesha (I refuse to acknowledge the “ironic” dollar sign in her name) would never be the picture beside the definition.

More examples?

Another song is a love letter to a teacher (I can’t put a finger on what’s so sexy, and why I want you in my bed or on your desk), a charming tale of how she got wasted and subsequently sick in a certain heiress’s closet (I threw up in Paris Hilton’s closet. I got drunk and completely lost it) and, last but not least, “Stephen” … a song about a boy that she openly admitted to hardcore stalking.

She’s trying way too hard to be edgy. I never thought I would be able to honestly say this, but she’s worse than Megan Fox.

Just… stop.

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i think i might be posting this just to post something

09Feb10

So, in the wake of some drunk asshole spilling beer all over my Macbook and ruining the keyboard, my mom, who I will occasionally admit is amazing, has graciously purchased me a new laptop. This time we’re giving a Dell the go-around.

I forget what model it is, but it’s a pretty decent on. 4 GB RAM (same as my Mac), 500 GB hard drive (twice that of my Mac). My mom upgraded some of the features on it because if my Macbook can be fixed, this one is going to be hers, so I guess that’s why she didn’t mind pimping it out a little bit.

I am going to treat this like it is my first born child. I said that about my Macbook, but that was before I truly knew what I was saying. Nothing will be allowed near it. Ever.

I think most of my excitement for this stems from my annoyance at having to buy my music lately. iTunes has never made as much money from me as it has these months I went without a computer I could illegally download from.

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Tags: computers